Have any of you men ever wished to possess the ability to get whatever you want from your wife?
Well over the next few minutes, I will uncover for you the principles behind
this amazing, and achievable, ability.
– Talmud –
“A wife is the joy of a man’s heart.”
I am going to show you how to tap into that joy.
Story of the Divorce Lawyer
A woman goes into a divorce lawyer and says she’d like a divorce–and she states that she would like to take her husband for everything he’s got.
The lawyer says: “OK, here’s the deal…. I want you to go home and treat him like a king for one month. At the end of the month, we’ll spring a divorce on him so
hard, he won’t know what hit him.”
The wife comes back after one month and says that she no longer wishes to divorce her husband. “Why not?” asks the attorney.
“Well, ever since I started treating him like a king, he started treating me like a queen.”
I want to share three secrets, which, when properly executed, will enable you to gain a magical influence over your wife:
1. Treat her like a queen and crown her daily.
The way you treat your wife will directly affect the way that she treats you. By holding her in high esteem, she will have the confidence, and example, of how to treat you. I watch so many men talk down to their wives and belittle them as if they are less important than themselves—these are the “dictator jerk” men. I also see men whose wives are belittling them and telling them how to run the show…these are the wimpy men. Women don’t like dictators, and they don’t respect wimps. There is a healthy balance between these two extremes.
Do you let your wife know that she is important to you? Do you let her know how much you appreciate all that she does for you and your family? Do you make her feel like she is the most important person in your life? If not, then you’re not treating her like a Queen. Some physical ways you can treat her like a Queen are to:
Put your hands on her face and tell her she is beautiful.
When you come home, put your arms around her and tell her you love her.
Reach out, take both of her hands, hold them, look into her eyes, and just say nothing.
Men, you want to see a new empowerment in your wife’s life? Try treating her like a queen and see what happens.
2. Make lots of deposits into her bank account.
I am not talking about depositing into her financial bank account—although there is something to be said about that, too. I am talking about making deposits into her emotional bank account. Every person has an emotional bank account. This account is where we store all of the emotional things that happen to us. Examples of a deposit include a kind word spoken or a kind gesture performed. On the other hand, rude comments or disrespectful actions actually work as withdrawals from our wives’ emotional bank accounts. Our goal as great husbands should be to make more deposits than withdrawals.
A quick note: A large enough withdrawal, such as cheating on your spouse, could bankrupt this account. It is also important to point out that deposits must be made from within your wife’s frame of reference—this means that your deposits must be things that she wants or needs. If you are bringing her strawberry shakes every day but she doesn’t like strawberries, then as loving as this may seem, you are not really depositing into her emotional bank account. Everyone has their own love language—this is the language that they speak and know. You need to discover her love language and speak it to her.
Here are some practical ways of making deposits into your wife’s emotional bank account:
Buy the pack of colorful little sticky notes (don’t be cheap and buy or use
the standard yellow ones) and then write little love notes and stick them
around for her to find the next day when she wakes up. I have found this
to be one of the simplest ways to help her conquer the day that lies ahead.
Sit down with your wife when you get home and just listen to her. Don’t try to fix her problems, just listen. Don’t let yourself get distracted. Remember
that she is the most important person in your life—treat her as such. Let
her know that there is nowhere you would rather be at the moment than
listening to everything she has to say. Have you ever noticed in the dating
circles that it’s always the quiet guy that gets the really cute girls?
There is a reason for this. Women LOVE men who listen to them; it makes
them feel important. Start listening to your wife every day, take a real
interest in what she is saying, and watch her respect and desire for you
Bring her flowers. As simple as this may sound, it is still so powerful. Women love flowers…especially for no reason. Men, if you messed up in some way, and then brought your wife flowers—you’re still at a net zero! But if you bring her flowers for no reason, and with no expectation—then that’s a real deposit. Why wait? Go buy some today! Do this and watch your
relationship blossom before your eyes.
Hug her often. This can be one of the greatest ways to make an emotional
deposit…especially if she is lacking affection. Too often as men we get so
busy trying to build our empire that we forget the one we are trying to
take care of and build it for. Our wives are women, and women need
affection…affection with no other expectation other than to make her feel
loved, respected and appreciated. Start hugging her daily and watch how it will change her into a more complete person.
3. Cherish her. Hold her in high esteem. Protect her heart.
This is the magic that makes everything that you do work. By esteeming her you are letting your wife know that she is truly the most important part of your life. You are communicating that she is indeed more important than yourself. You treat her as she deserves to be treated, you love her as she deserves to be loved, and you treat her as the most important means to a happy life. As it has been said: Happy wife, happy life.
As it says in I Peter 3:7, “Husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way.”
How can we men truly understand our wives if we don’t study them? What makes your wife tick? What does she love? What does she hate? What is her love language? What does she need most from you? I frequently hear men commiserating with other men about the lack of understanding they have concerning their wife. I have no respect for a man who after many years of being married hasn’t figured out the least bit of how his wife works. We may never truly understand our wives, but we can always continue to strive and learn. What amazes me is that the same man who is clueless about how his wife works is often the one who has such an intimate knowledge of hunting deer that he wears deer urine to attract them. He can tell you anything about deer. His intimate knowledge of his passion makes him successful in his endeavor. What would happen if he had the same passion for figuring out his wife as he does for figuring out how to attract deer? He would have the most amazing marriage!
By selflessly putting her needs above your own, she will indeed feel cherished…and this is the final secret that really creates the magic.
So in conclusion, the three points were:
Treat her like a Queen and crown her daily
Make lots of deposits into her emotional bank account
These three things, when properly executed, will indeed wield a magical way over your wife and empower her to fulfill every desire of your heart—which at this point will only be to fulfill hers.
Now go home and serve your Queen!